First Christmas without Mama

December 25, 2010

It’s Christmas time already. While most of my friends get to celebrate Christmas with their respective families, I’m choosing to spend it alone in the house.

My siblings and papa went to Batangas and it’s a personal decision not to go with them. After almost a year, I just can’t imagine myself going back there while still having these vivid images of my ailing mom lying  in bed in my lolo’s house. I can’t stand to see the hospital where we rushed her, etc . The painful memories are still there and fvck, I just can’t shake it off!

Yes, I might not have completely moved on, and so what? They say happiness is a choice and I’m choosing not to have a “merry” Christmas this year. I hope Jesus forgives me for this.

 

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